62: The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin

62: The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin


Episode found at: https://bookworm.fm/62/

Have you ever struggled to achieve a goal, even though you were fully committed to and believed in it? Today’s book gives you a simple framework to help you understand why. Join Joe & Mike as they try to understand themselves a little bit better. Links – Oak meditation app – Bookworm 56: Hyperfocus by…

The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin

Just finished listening to this episode. . .

It would be interesting to me if y’all posted your action items for each book here in the club – and encouraging everyone who listens to post their action items (and follow up), too.

I listened to The Four Tendencies about a year ago for an IRL bookclub. Honestly, I much prefer Gretchen Rubin’s podcast to this book. Haha!

But my action items after listening to your discussion today?

  • Consider which forms of outer accountability work well for me.
  • Think about each person with whom I most frequently interact and try to identify their tendency.


Interesting thought. I could see that. I’ll have to think through the logistics on that and talk it over with Mike. But I like the idea. :wink:

Probably best if you don’t share on the second one, but I’d be curious what you land on with the first since I fall into the Obliger category. I assume that since you mentioned this that you’re an Obliger?


Did the test and came out as an Obliger. Never a fan of these absolute types but I get why it’s that way. The four tendencies are just simplified models that you will roughly fit with the one you are identified as being the best fit but like all models it won’t fit perfectly and in reality you will be a percentage fit for each model hence the feeling that at times you could be any of the models, well maybe not the rebel for me :wink:

Thanks for the mention in the podcast though I feel I’m riding AwfulOtter’s coat tails for this one as they were the one giving insight into the war games.

Following on from War Games (only using a small crowbar to get this to fit) I’d like to mention Red Teaming by Bryce G Hoffman as a book that is fascinating to read. Heard him talking on a podcast just after it came out and had bought the book before the end of the podcast it was that interesting. To take some of the blurb from Amazon…

‘Developed by the military and intelligence agencies, red teaming is a revolutionary way to stress-test strategies, flush out unseen threats and missed opportunities and execute more successfully in an increasingly uncertain world.’


Obliger tendencies now, with Upholder tendencies common when I was younger.

And I’ve pretty much identified the tendencies of the people with whom I interact the most. I read the book last year in the midst of my high school senior applying to colleges. He has rebel tendencies – good kid, not rebellious – but definitely fits idea of resisting both inner and outer expectations. The idea of appealing to his sense of identity and his own goals was helpful – and I don’t think I nagged as much as I would have otherwise!